Deciding to Leave Your Abuser

Deciding to leave your abuser.  If you are hoping, and praying your abuser will change?

It good to pray.  They have to let God change them.  You can’t change them.  Real change comes from the person. The abuse will happen again, if they don’t seek counseling from a domestic violence counselor.  Create a support system of trusted family and friends.  There is also agencies in your area.

Things to do.  Please keep  private from your abuser.  Keep a journal to document the abuse.  Collect important papers and clothing in a safe place.  Extra set of keys.  Notify your job, school or daycare.

Abusers have deep rooted emotional and probably psychological problems.  It takes time to change.    The hardest part is leaving and you worry about what will happen once you leave.  Love Doesn’t have to Hurt.

Signs that your abuser is not changing:

1. He minimizes that abuse

2. He tells you if you wouldn’t have done this or that then it wouldn’t happen

3. You have to push them to seek counseling

4.  If you leave, they will commit suicide or kill you.

5.  He pressures you

6. Know your abuser

7. Be safe by making up a code to use in a time of emergency

8.  Identify safe places in the home

9. Make an escape plan

Be safe and seek help

All the best,


Thanks for reading and leave comment.

Let’s talk about Fear ~ Love Doesn’t Hurt

Let’s talk about the results of living in fear.  I grew up in fear as a result of things I witnessed as a child. That fear controlled my life in many ways. Terrible things happened to me because I was afraid to speak up.   I always needed to feel safe and secure.  I never wanted to be left alone.  Always trying to please others.   Needing approval of others, not trusting my own judgement.  You’re  shy and afraid to speak up. Not wanting to stand out in a crowd.   That same fear lead me into the arms of my abusive ex-husband.  I am writing a book “Love Doesn’t Hurt”.

Today, because of the Love of Jesus I no longer carry that spirit of fear.

Did it take time to overcome fear?  Yes, it had.  It took me many years to not be afraid.

This year, is the first year I am becoming more comfortable in my own skin.  I am not saying that you will not be uncomfortable at times or be afraid but when you do, pray and believe.  All you have to do is think of the Love of Jesus and know that everything will be all right.

If I share my story or experience to  help one person then that’s great.  Please give it to God, we don’t have to live in fear.  Your life is too valuable. Time is the one things that once it’s gone, it’s gone.  Our purpose is to live each day as through it is our last day.  Living in fear is such a waste of valuable time and energy.  Be free and let go of hurt, anger, doubt, bitterness and fear.  All these feelings have an affect on life is the same way.

Remember we are free.  So wear your smile and believe in yourself.