Posted on by Simply Grace · 14 Comments

I AM WHOLE

Today, I am whole. Ladies, you can do it too. My story, my journey, and my healing to empower others.

Once you start loving you and realize that God loves you. When you know yourself and love you then you will only accept being treated with respect, loving care, and cherished.

You will be okay with being alone taking care of you emotionally, mentally, and physically.

I love reading, writing, and designing different projects.

When I interact with others I want them to see and feel the love of God.

Thanks for reading and visiting my blog. Please share, comment, and come back again.

Best,

Denise

Hello Family and Friends, Good morning!

Become whole means feeling secure, confidence, and peace from within.

Today, I can say that I am Whole. We can overcome any thing we put our minds to, including domestic violence and emotional abuse.  It takes Determination.  I did it!  Now I am safe, having joy and peace.

Believe me it didn’t happen overnight. Healing physical scars was one thing, but healing emotional scars took a lot longer.

 I cannot promise the road to overcoming abuse will be easy or the process time will be short but with support, knowledge and determination you can do it too.  What I can promise, is that you can do it if you try. 

If it never get dealt with, then the cycle of abuse continues.  Only when the cycle of abuse is broken, ended then healing comes. 

God is the true Healer.  You are Awesome, amazing and worth it. So take control of your life.

Tips that work:

Listen-practice active listening when someone shares their story of abuse with you.

Repeat back what you think you heard them say to you without judgement.

Focus on supporting and have love for them because abuse is difficult and confusing.

Encourage them to be around positive family and friends.

Pick up a book, hobby, or class.

Remember trouble don’t last always, joy does come in the morning.

That’s empowerment. And remember to pass love. knowledge, and encouragement on to someone else.

All the best,

Grace girl, Denise M. Hardnett

“Love Doesn’t Have To Hurt”

I look forward to reading your posts and comments.  Leave a message.

Posted on by Simply Grace

Teens this is for you!

“Ms. Hardnett’s story is one of triumph over inner and outer demons. Her abiding faith and her refusal to be defined by others’ negative opinions allow her to move from sorrow and helplessness to joy and self-determination. Her story is a roadmap for others who find themselves in circumstances that threaten their physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being.” -William Greer, LCSW, LPCCEO Emeritus, Journey Mental Health Center, Inc

You are in control of your destiny. Choose, not to let your current situation, stop you from doing what’s best for you, like self care, knowing you are worthy, and focus on where you want to go in life or be. You can achieve what you can see. So, cut out pictures of your goals, dreams, and destiny. Always believe in yourself!

Yes, it will get tough, or hard. But, never give up. We all can believe and learn how to do something that’s hard or tough. Think about ways to achieve by finding a way, even if you ask for help. I am a problem solver.

Asking for help is okay. That’s even a smart thing to do. I am smart!

I am confident.

My appearance is important, but my self-worth and abilities is even greater. I love me.

This special book for teens is designs for you. It’s a book to encourage, empower, forgiveness, and healing overcoming to experience of domestic violence and abuse. With a journal, workbook, and activities for you to write and share.

Here’s the link writersrepublic.com/bookshop

Posted on by Simply Grace

Making a difference…

Writing thank you letters to family, friends, and many some businesses too. It’s so important to keep making a difference through it all. The Corona Virus.

This too shall pass. Practicing social distance but thank God I am still working. I’m working in a domestic violence shelter and I’m loving it.

I don’t feel alone. Every day I feel joy and peace to be able to help another person or child. The benefits are priceless.

When the love is coming from our souls that means a lot. That feeling will last a life time. Another form of self-care!

Keep giving!

Love you all,

Pease,

Grace girls

Thank you for visiting and come again. Post your comments.

Posted on by Simply Grace

Self-Care

Good morning,

If you experienced domestic violence or abuse, it’s very important to practice self-care of our bodies physically, emotionally, and mentally.

What is Self-Care? Self-care equal pamper yourself! Trust! Believe in you. You deserve to feel better, stronger, and more alive. When you practice self-care you rest and recharge makes your better, stronger and more alive.

Empowerment is self-care builds self-esteem, self-worth, and make your own decisions.

Things to make your life easier, and healthier:

1. Journal or List all your personal strengths and reflect on them often. Take time to prioritize your day.

2. List all the things you are grateful for and reasons why. Focus on the positive! Laugh. Smile often.

3. No one is perfect, so let that go.

4. Exercise 10 to 30 minutes daily.

5. Practice praying, meditation and breathing techniques.

6. Get enough sleep.

7. Drink plenty of water.

8. Remove people that are no good for you. Look for people you admire, or who can be your role model, or mentor.

9. Organize one room at a time.

10.Believe in yourself, you deserve it!

11. Listen to music.

12. Call a trusted friend or family member.

13. Sit on the porch. Enjoy fresh air and sunlight.

14. Take a shower using some homemade sugar scrubs.

15. Schedule a Spa night at home (facial, pedicure, and/or manicure)

16. Color, draw, write, or read.

17. Create your own vision board from magazines and writings.

18. Spend time alone.

19. Grab a glass of wine, tea, or coffee and sip in the tub. Be safe and responsible.

Remember you are worth it. Enjoy!

Come back next week for my breathing technique video.

Please leave a comment and like.

Best,

Denise Hardnett

“Love Doesn’t Have to Hurt”

Posted on by Simply Grace

Love Yourself

It is so important to LOVE YOURSELF!  Guess what, you are beautiful loving and kind!  You are not perfect, and that’s okay because nobody is.  I’m smiling at you.

It’s so hard after leaving an abusive spouse because we love them so much and we believe in them.  We think about the future and the thought of growing old with them.  

Speaking of your future – In reality, we really can’t have a future with  someone who is so selfish who plans to abuse us only because we are nice, caring, nurturing and empathetic.

He wined and dined us.  Used all the right words and we fell in love.  After that the games began.

Remember all the silent treatment.  Up and down mood swings.  All the times you thought you was going crazy.  You weren’t going crazy because, it was him who was playing games with you. 

All the times you took him back.  All the promises to change.  All the abuse. He built you up only to destroy you by bringing  you down.

It’s time to drop him mentally and physically.  Get your healing on and start loving yourself.

e7e1f1f25c105ddb829758108b8a19e2

Loving you:

  1. Get a solid relationship with God.
  2. Tell yourself positive things.
  3. Pamper yourself
  4. Read a good book
  5. Acknowledge that you are worthy to be loved
  6. Trust your inner voice
  7. Do something everyday that you like
  8. Build yourself up!
  9. Ask for help if you need it.
  10. Utilize breathing techniques

I pray these things help you like they helped me.

Please comment and share.

Best,

Denise Hardnett

“Love Doesn’t Have To Hurt” 

 

Posted on by Simply Grace

Healing

midsection of woman making heart shape with hands
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

The importance of healing.

When we forgive ourselves and/ or the person that hurt us, remember that it is for us!  We need forgiveness for healing. You ask “how do you know if you need healing?” You are always mad, angry or unpleasant.  When you hurt, it makes you sad, then it turns to anger.  After a while it builds into depression.

The wrong time to make life decisions is when you are hurt or angry.
A lot of times, when we are hurt, we can’t hear from God or trusted family and friends. It is usually because we lost our faith and refuse to trust anyone.

If you want to feel better and be your best self forgive and start your healing process.  Trust God! Renew your mind, body and soul. Remember you deserve it. Healing – Love Doesn’t Have to Hurt!

Thanks for visiting and reading.  Please leave a comment.

Come again.

Best,

Denise Hardnett

“Love Doesn’t Hurt”

Posted on by Simply Grace

Self-Worth

close up photo of a woman
Photo by Marlon Schmeiski on Pexels.com

Listen…no judgement. I’m writing from experience. Life has taught me to love myself. If I don’t love me, or value me no one else will. No one else will treat me better than I treat myself. Make time for you each day.  No phones, computers or interruptions.  Find a quiet space and focus on you.

I’m a child of the most high, so I must stand on that truth!

It all starts with me. Taking the best care I can of me.  If that means praying, speaking affirmations, exercising, eating a balanced meal and practicing breathing techniques then DO IT! .  I promise that you will not be disappointed.

When you are at your best self no one can put you down by telling lies to lower your self worth.  That’s what abusers do. They tell lies to make you think you are crazy.  You have to change the very thing that makes you special.

Our creator made us unique and special, no two people are alike.  Are we perfect? No. No one is, but that’s okay.

When I love someone, I love all of them, flaws too.  Is it wrong to want the same thing? No!

Love you and wait patiently until the right person comes along.

Be blessed,

Denise Hardnett

“Love Doesn’t Have To Hurt”

Thanks for visiting and reading. Please leave a message and like.

Posted on by Simply Grace

Bracelets

mkt.com/skycustomdesigns

Faith Domestic Violence Survivor Bracelet
Faith Domestic Violence Survivor Bracelet When you wear this bracelet it reminds you of God’s Promise “It’s Done” Without Faith there would not be a promise.
domesticviosexabusebracelet
Faith Domestic Violence and Sexual Abuse Survivor Bracelet When you wear this bracelet it reminds you of God’s Promise “It’s Done” Without Faith there would not be a promise.
sexualabusebracelet
Faith Sexual Abuse Survivor Bracelet When you wear this bracelet it reminds you of God’s Promise “It’s Done” Without Faith there would not be a promise.
Posted on by Simply Grace

Break the Silence – Always Tell

What is Rape or Date Rape?

According to the dictionary rape means to force (someone) to have sex with you by using violence or the threat of violence. Date-Rape is the crime of forcing someone you know to have sex with you especially while on a date.

It hurt when you are raped. And it also hurt when some people asked questions like, “What were you wearing? Were you at his house?” It doesn’t matter. It’s not your fault.

For example:

If you wanted to at first and changed your mind. And they do it anyway, it’s wrong.

The person that raped you are at fault.

80% of rapes are carried out by someone you know. (Statistics from RAINN.org)

I was newly divorced, a single mom putting the pieces of my life back together. A friend of mine picked me up for a date. He invited me over to see a movie. I was awakened by him raping me. Happens next!

What happens after you have been raped?

You are not alone. Get to a safe place, tell a trusted friend or family member. Then go to the hospital to get your injuries treated and have a rape kit done.

Preparation before the rape kit:

1. Don’t eat or drink anything.
2. Don’t pee, brush your teeth or bathe.

I know, the first thing you want to do is shower or bathe. You can’t because they need the evidence. They also need to keep your clothes and underwear.

After the rape kit, you don’t have to talk to the police unless you want. If you go to the police station, you have three choices:

1. After the rape kit, you can press and file charges against your abuser. In some states if, you are filing charges they have funds available to pay for the hospital fees, visits and the lab work. They also can pay for loss wages and legal fees. So check with your state.

2. After the rape kit, you don’t have to press and file charges.

3. After the rape kit, you can file charges but you can do it without using your name on the documents.

The journey to recovery is hard, intense and long. Get involved in a local church. Strengthen your relationship with God, He is the true Healer. It is also important to have a good counselor and have a great support system.  Overcoming the trauma of rape remember that you are loved, you have worth and you are not responsible for what happen to you.

In my experience, you will have flashbacks and anxiety, but it is light at the end of your journey. Break the silence – Always tell and let the healing begin. Please post any questions or comments. Thanks for visiting and come again.

Posted on by Simply Grace

Love Doesn’t have to Hurt

God is love, the true Healer.  I don’t think God wanted us to continue to accept and live with someone hurting us, which is domestic violence.  When I was with my abusive ex-husband, he always said, “If I loved him, I wouldn’t leave him or if I was a real Christian I would stay by his side.”

Yes, I realize we will go through things in a relationship like pain, sorrow, loss along with joy, peace, love and happiness.  Because that is life, but we can control suffering at the hands of our abusers.  There is help and we can take back our lives-take responsibility to change our life for our children and ourself.  Love Doesn’t Hurt, read 1 Corinthians 13:4,5,6,7,13

4 Love is patient, love is kind, it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails. 13 And now these remain: faith, hope and love.  But the greatest of these is love.

The Bible is the truth.

Our abuser beat and attacks us for control and that is the time when they are in the most control.  Please know that love is not insecure, neglect, angry and mean.  We though our abusers loved us and we truly loved them and somehow wanted to change them.  But the truth is, they have to change themselves, just like you have to change you.  We confused those feeling for love, now we know it was fear, lack of love, hurt.  Because Love Doesn’t have to Hurt. Love Doesn’t have to Hurt Inspirational guide for Women in domestic violence coming out October 2015 please look out for it.

Be blessed, Be kind and share with others

Denise